don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
