i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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