So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
