Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
