where am i from again
they need to just BURY HIM!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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