WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
