That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize