Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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