As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I need moral support for this bender
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
