why do cheetos always look like penises
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
