First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
