Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
