I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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