There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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