That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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