Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize