If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
