i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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