dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize