Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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