Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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