I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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