I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
