dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
