there's paper in my vomit.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
