no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
