Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
