so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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