I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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