I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
