Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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