He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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