did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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