O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize