Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
there's paper in my vomit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
