Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
