wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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