I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
