is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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