I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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