I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
