my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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