She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
