the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
