don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Randomize
