He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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