Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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