i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm both gender and math confused
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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