decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
