I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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