I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
