i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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