everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
