i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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