yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
