Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
