I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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