I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
