I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
