I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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