I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize