tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
