sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
