Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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