How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
