porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
