I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
COCAINE IS GR8
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
