Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
