She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
